The Crazy Little Scribbles

Okay... now that's just weird. -_- *shake head*

Stolen from Erulisse ;p Mwaha. ha.

I taste like Peanut Butter. I am one of the most blendable flavours; I go with sweet, I go with sour, I go with bland, I go with anything. I am practical and good company, but have something of a tendency to hang around when I'm not wanted, unaware that my presence is not welcome. What Flavour Are You?

Hm.... oO I guess so...

I also taste like...

Cor blimey, I taste like Tea. I am a subtle flavour, quiet and polite, gentle, almost ambient. My presence in crowds will often go unnoticed. Best not to spill me on your clothes though, I can leave a nasty stain. What Flavour Are You?

That's more like it!! ;p

*sips tea* <3

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

...






WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??!!!!!!!!

You really have no clue, do you? You're satisfied just to have someone to eat hamburgers and play video games with, and are completely oblivious to other's manipulative behavior. You don't expect much, and that's good, because you're perfect prey for the Opportunist Seme, who will take advantage of you, and you probably won't even notice. But you'll be happy anyway, because ignorance is bliss.


Clueless Uke
Take Are you a Seme or an Uke? today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.</p>

I am NOT CLUELESS!!! GODDAMIT I MAY NOT KNOW EVERYTHING BUIT DAMMIT I'M AN ANGEL WITH WINGS TO LOOK PRETTY AND HORNS TO KEEP MY HALO UP!!!!! >< WHATS WRONG WITH THIS QUIZ???



...



Or maybe it's that I'm just not in the mood... ;)

Yo ho, me hearties, yo ho...

Great. So, I have mood swings, and my sister's being emo with her boyfriend (over the phone) again. I know she can't see him cos he's grounded for a week, but this is getting ridiculous. And I am in no mood to tolerate her sitting on my bed mopingb and moaning and saying silly things without at least trying to be happy so her boyfriend isn't sad too.

And here I am being a hypocrite. ¬¬ Well, semi. At least I'm not moaning.

OKies, I so should stop sulking all the time, but right now I don't care and can't control it. I've tried eating chocolate, but it doesn't help. Anyone got any good tips? (I'm onb my monthly, y'see...) It's getting seriously annoying. One minute I'll be all hyper and talking silly, the next I'll be crying, then I'll be stamping around clawring the walls. *sigh* I just feel mentally exhausted. T.T But then I'll feel happy and all better again, then I'll crash down again in a matter of minutes. It really is so irritating.

And NOW I want to burst into tears cos I feel helpless and stuff! Now I'm telling myself not to be ailly and to stand up against depression, but then I fall down again and feel quiet and sober. Oh for God's sake... I'm switching so fast I can hardly write em down anymore. I know this may sound funny, but it's no joke, I need to slow my thought process. T.T Christ. My head hurts... I just wish I had something better to do than to sit here complaining. I can't even write any decent poetry cos I can't hold an emotion or thought for more than five seconds.

I've had a lovely day, don't get me wrong. Lozzy, Gigi, Anna, Gerbil and I went out shopping, which was loadsa fun. ^^ I really enjoyed it, but now I've swung back again. ¬¬

Aaaaahhh.. phew. Angry mood swing overcome. Thank God. Now I just need to eat more chocolate and do things that either make my mind focus or relax me. ^^ Sorry about that everyone, just needed to stress out on the keys! XDDDD

Yeah... so there's always a tomorrow! ;P


'*~xRosiex~*'

Wellpers, as soon as I have something to eat I'll be teh spiffies, but meh. :/ I have a dentention after school today... T^T It's for french, I was really disorganized with my folder so... yeah. My french teacher what not happy. So I have a 1 hour detention, and I am not happy about it but what the hey, it's my own fault for becoming so disinterested in frenchand for allowing my mum to say it was a definate. T^T poo this. *falls alseep* Which I already did in Physics... I should really go to sleep earlier.

Urm... well, I only have art homework in for tomorrow, so I guess I won't be stressed too much, though I'm supposed to be drawing a view from a window when I come home and it's dark. -_- so I'll start on the frame and do the rest at the weekend, cos she only wants to see how we're getting on (i.e., not leaving it to the last minute and then 'leaving our sketch books at home).

Sorry I'm in a meh mood T^T I'm just dreadingmy detention cos she willnot be nice to me... at all. T^T I guess I deserve it, but I dunno what work she'll set me. o.O Or maybes I don't care.. much. -.-

Errr, but tomorrow I might be going out. ^^ I dunno if I'm going to Nowheresville this weekend though. T3T mump.

Wellpers, I'd better stop making pointless rants and entries. ^^; I have a weeny habit of doing that... sorry.

So au revior, mes amies. ^^

'*~xRosiex~*'

I don't want to worry anyone, but I was in a car crash with my brother driving and my sister Gerbil-girl and I in the back. We were going to fast when a car in front braked and we couldn't stop in time. We went into the back of it and the front of our car ripped off. The driver in front's car wasn't too bad, but our car had to be wheeled into the side of the road. No one was hurt, but my sister hurt her thumb (very VERY minor, I think it's called a blood clot - under the nail). I myself feel fine, I'm ill at the moment and I've been having head aches and coughs and stuff for a few days, so there's nothing different there. The gentleman we crashed into was very kind (he didn't look particularly kind, and he didn't sound all that kind either), he gave us a lift back home stopping at his house on the way, to take down details. He even offered my sister and I a drink! My brother was a bit shocked at the time, but when we got home (he'd called my mum before) my mum cried a bit and so did he. Everyone was ok after that though. *phew* Thank God for seat belts!!

Anyways, apart from having a funny throat, I'm okies. I did text my friend SheikanFire though, I just wanted to tell somebody. ^^ I hope I haven't worried any of you, but I just wanted to say something because I naturally have to let things out and that would make me feel a little more normal (I DO feel normal, just weird normal o.O).

Thankies for reading!! *glomp* Love y'all to pieces *bigbigcuddle*

'*~xRosiex~*'

So, we've just been to the school carol service. I have quite a headache, but with everyone singing loudly in a chapel I'm not surprised. >< Ouchie...

Anyhoo, being in the choir we had to do this little procession thing up to our seats, singing our hearts out (walking and singing, multi-tasking! XD) which had to be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally slow. It was slow, but the girls in front were kinda rusing a little. >< So it was only just slow. And when we were singing (in the choir) we had to do a descant for The Holly and the Ivy, and the two girls either side of me didn't sing the fisrt half, which confuzzled and put me off. o.o I just hope it wasn't too obvious.... ^^;;

Owie.....headache... @x@

Urm, OHS, it was the last full day of school today. In the morning we had English, and we were finishing our stories yuppers. ^^ It's got to based around a short story we read about a boy who took an extra easy exam and was killed by the government cos he was too clever. o.O More likely to be the opposite excuse in this day and age. XD Aaaand, then we had physics which was downright boring, and we played 'science bingo', which was very boring. XD Ooo, then we had double English. Our teacher just happens to be tons of fun (she's a drama teacher, end of XD) so we just played lots and lots and lots of games. <3 It was just awesome!!

Then we had our Chrstmas lunch. :3 The roast itself wasn't exactly something to boast about, but we got squash and Black Forest Cherry Cake (or something like it X3) which was weeeally tasty. <3 numnums... I had a piece bigger than my hand!!! X3 It was also my friend's official birthday (she's not on here, sadly =()
so we had fun. ^^

NYA. I WANNA SEE EVERYBODY NOWS. D:

Oh wells, I'll live til tomorrow. Maybe. Perhaps. Hopefully. :3


'*~xRosiex~*'

'When I'm gone,
Just carry on,
Don't mourn rejoice,
Everytime that you hear,
The sound of my voice...'

I have a dog called Bella, she's 11 now. She's getting on, and she's a coca spaniel. Over the last few months, her sight has deteriated so she is now practically blind. She's also quite deaf and loosing her sense of smell. My mum thinks she has a problem with her brain. I've had her ever since I was three, and she's always been very happy, always wagging her tail and being around. We're going to see the vets tomorrow, to see what they say. I at first thought it was a 70% chance she'd be put down, but my dad guesses it'll be a 30% chance. I got very upset about it on Thursday. I feel a bit down now, but not so much because I've stuffed myself with food and been to a small Christmas market.

My parents are in the room talking about it, how she's always been around, whether it made us feel safer when we were alone in the house or whether we couldn't go and leave her. She always comes up to us (my sister and I) when we walk in from school, and always barks at people who come through the door. She's areal aofty, so she often tries to have a play with them. ^^ She also likes to doze alot, so she'll lay on the floor in the way, so it'll be odd not having to step over her. I always feed her in the evenings, and we have a little shelf at the bottom of the cupboard where we keep her food. We also give her some of our leftovers, which she loves. I can still remember when she ate our chocken pies when we went out the room once.

I don't know the exact date now of when she'll go, but my mum says it'll only be months now. It's really sad I know, but I just need to kind of pour a little of my memories and concerns out.

And now my mum's listing off loads of jobs to do next weekend. Thanks mum, way to go, just what I need. I've got at least one detention next week and now you want to start listing off chores for me to do when I want to chill. Great.

I'm sorry I'm being emo.... T^T I'm going out with Sheikan-fire on Saturday afternoon so that should make me feel a little better. ^^ Thankies for being kind, and thankies to everyone else too.

*big hug*

'*~xRosiex~*'

I AM RIPPING ALL THE CHRISTMAS SONGS WE HAVE ONTO MY LAPTOP (Aren't I sad?)!!! XDDD

Yupyup, so I would've put up a journal to celebrate Advent... but I forgot. ^^;

Soooooooo I'm feeling festive!! X3 We've decorated our tree up here, but haven't really done much else towards Christmas.

AND I have a cuuuuuuuute penguin Advent calendar!!! :3 YAYS!!!! *Is feeling incredibly sad*

Ooooooo, and I saw my niece again!!!!! She's walking properly, and kind of speaking.. she can almost say my name!! TuT She says ''ose', isn't that sweet?! And her hair is long enough to put into bunchies!! *dies of happiness and pride and joy*

I made 4 cups of tea, 1 hot chocolate and 1 coffee today. ;P And ate lotsa biscuits. X3

Lalalalalaaaaaaa~~~

*is shot for being so cheery and festive*

Byebyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! *wave*

'*~xRosiex~*'

I hate to rant about people in journals, but this person already knows how I feel. And We feel exactly the same about each other, and we've felt like that since before we could remember. So I feel less guilty but all the same....


-_-....*can't think of how to rant* I'm just annoyed right now, qite pissed off with someone in particular......*sigh* Why can't you just leave me alone, huh? Just.... please don't say horrible things to me anymore. Stop winding me up. I know you don't read my journals cos you aren't my friend but if you do read this stop trying to make me sad. I know you don't care about me at all, but I still care about you. I know why you hate this one person (not including me), and since I'm open minded I understand. But what I don't get is how you can rub everything in my face all the time. I honestly hate it when you wind me up, about things that shouldn't bother me at all. But when you said that one thing earlier, you drew right up to the line. You need to get out of your own world. I'm sorry, I know people are there dfor you, I know you have excellant friends, I know you're well loved, but you need to stop being rude to me and my friend(s). Just leave me alone ok?

¬¬ Thats to no one, cos she doesnt read my journals, let alone my rants...

anyways, sorry to people who like her, but she's getting to me now and I'm feeling stressed at the moment. I'm sorry.


'*~xRosiex~*'

*sigh*... All I'm doing right now is staring at my laptop, occasinally doodling, and just sitting on my bed. I didn't even have breakfast. -_- I did have some chocolate though, only a bit....

I just don't know what to do right now. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm just sitting here on msn and deviantart, doing nothing. I've written a poem, but no one's commented yet.

'Straighten up lil' soldier. Stiffen up that upper lip. What'chu crying about?' Too many things... I think there's eight, some of which wouldn't normally get me down, but all together they've thrown me.

I don't think I can talk about it right now... I don't think I got a very good sleep last night. I was up crying late last night and then I finally fell asleep with the lyrics of Mockingbird in my head: 'it may seem crazy, pretty baby, but I promise, you are gonn' be alright.' Then I kept waking up briefly and falling into silly dozes in the morning and finally got up about 9.30, and commenced depressing day.

I'm sorry I'm so depressed, and you all probably don't have time to do anything, but I am..... I feel terrible now. I remember I once said 'life can only get worse!' and look... it did. But then again, these things have just been there, but under the surface. They've just been triggered and now are surrounding me.

I'm so depressed I can't think properly anymore. I can hardly think about what's bothering me.

Great. Thanks dad. Now he's bugging me about homework and saying I should be going round my nan's house, being stupid etc etc etc. I really really just want to go back to sleep and have a nap. I think I might do that. It'll be better than waiting for nothing. I think I'll have a snack first though.... T^T

Byexxx

'*~xRosiex~*'

(From my deviantart journal)

I'm sorry peeps, but thats how I feel. I said it as nicely as I could, but I feel a little worse, even though it has nothing to do with me. I've had my say now, so I'm just cooling it. I'm so glad this was none of you guys (being put down). Otherwise I could never call myself a angel again.

Here's why:
http://insomniahedgehog.deviantart.com/journal/10467264/

-_- Thanks man. Thanks alot. (complete sarcasm).

Anyways, so as not to end on that note, I have made my webcam work!! So thats making me happy. ^^

See ya!!

'*~xRosiex~*'

Note: Now on half term. ^^ yay!!

So, I'm back from Bristol peeps!! X3

We went there to see our bro (he works as a chef at a place called the Picture House, an old cinema) who I recently found out has an account on deviantART!!! (By the way, for sheik and eru's benefit, this is Nick, the brother without Ruby who took us to Chinese New Year)

Note to reader: I have put subtitleson this so that you can skip to the bits you want to read.

^^ Yay!!

New Clothes...
Oh, OH YES!!! I got a new pink animal fleece!! X3 Yays!!!! I was needing a new one...

Aaaaaand, I got a new hat!! It's light green and dark green striped with dark green buttons, but one came off T.T My mum's gonna fix it, or else I will. But anyways, I don't usually go for green but I was looking at the pink version thinking 'Hmmmm....maybe....but I always have pink....' And then I saw that hat and thought 'Gween!! X3'. It has a billy thingy (the part that sticks out? ^^; I don't usually buy hats) and it's made of wool, like a beanie with the bill attached. ^^ Yays!!! I wuv it so so much!! *pulls hat on and grins*

The Picture House...
Ohhh yes, and the Picture House was cool too!! The upper part (ground floor) Was veeeery nice and went we went to the smoking area (my mum and other brother, Greg, both smoke...¬¬) that was even cooler!! It was so dark down there, but it was fanatstic!! X3 They had red and brown sofas, Long and smaller ones, they had stools (which were rather like just the seat of one of those brown sofas) and they had a game system with wireless controllers!! I think it was Nintendo, and me and my dad and Greg played Mario Cart!!! XDDD I won, yay!! My game-playing skill has not yet died.... ^^ But I haven't played any video games in ages!!! D: I used to play them none stop, but only a selected few and I soon got bored... And I dunno, I never bought new ones and I phased out of it.... Ah well. ^^ Just so long as I still have my skill!! X3

The Hotel...
This was fairly cool, it was the Holiday Inn. We went there before and swore we'd never come again cos of this really rude pig that was the 'Duty Manager', and at the end said, in a pompous voice, 'It's up to you if you ever use the Holiday Inn again!' ¬¬ I mean honestly, we're not cleaners!! We are customers!!! ¬¬ Ah well, we went there again cos mum thought it had a nice pool, even though she doesn't swim. As it turned out, we never went swimming, cos Gina couldn't and I had the snuffles. I don't really like swimming anyway, cos I'm not a good swimmer...>< But they had brilliant free gifty thingies!! X3 They gave us free Cadbury chocolate bars (yummy!!) and the shampoo, shower gel and soap was kewl!! X3 I even took some away with us!! XD Breakfast was the only meal we had there, but it was good. :3 I liked the tea. *sips tea, which I don't have... T.T* They did muc up our booking though... we hadn't payd before hand, but we'd booked for two nights. So the first night we recieve a bill under our door for one night, as though we were leaving the first day. Then my dad sorted it out and they booked us again for another night. When we come home, late at night, we can't get into our rooms cos they've cancelled the keys >< So off dad f=goes again and then comes back with working keys. Go dad! XDDD


And on Friday 13th was the team building day!!

It actually wasn't that bad *cough* eru *cough* our team stacked 17 crates, which beat the record!! But then Gerbil's (my sister) team beat us with 17.5 >< I can't remember quite how that worked out... gah... But we also did things like building newspaper towers and bridges (that was quite boring, but...hmm...) and communication (guiding blind-folded people around, getting through a rope cricle in 5- seconds, lowering a helium tube with the tips of our two index fingers, bla bla bla) Which I quite enjoyed, and there was obstacle courses where we had to get across a 'river' onto some 'rocks' (big barrels) and to the other side by usuaing three planks. We managed to do it, yay!! (we were timed by the way, can't remember how long for...something minutes, less than 10, which was the max time).

So eru, you really did miss out, and Danni and Alice wouldn't have beedn stupid to you cos that would've deducted points and lost time. *taps head* It wasn't that much hard work, so even though you were ill I reckoned you still could've done it. Ah well, never mind. ^^ Missed ya!! *hug*

Urrmm....

Ah yes, I'm in Somewheresville for a few days then we're going up to Nowheresville for a week.

Deedone?

Nope, I had a really scary dream last night.... *cling*

Now, deedone. ^^

Byebye!!!!


'*~xRosiex~*'

That's right ladies and gentlemen!

So, I have come to a decision. I have allowed myself the luxury of sitting on my arse at home off sick from school, and now I'm gonna pull myself together and stop being depressed!!

So, there were 3 fights at school, all of which including friends of mine, and what kind of friend turns a blind eye? So, if any of you have been in a fight or are depressed, just needing someone to talk to, I'm here.

I'm sorry about my previous depressing journal entry, but I'm getting used to it now. Moping and moaning won't help. *clenches fist* I will make it, and I promise each and every one of now and always I shall try my Goddamndarnedest to take care of you to the best of my ability!!!


Now, my friends, I would say I must fly, but I won't cos I'm right here!! *hug*

xxx

Good, better and best wishes to all,

'*~xRosiex~*'

PLEASE DON'T READ IF YOU'VE HAD A GOOD DAY/TIME. I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL YOUR MOOD, SO PLEASE READ, IF YOU WANT TO, AT A TIME WHEN YOU CAN HANDLE DEPRESSING MATERIAL AND FEEL LIKE IT. THANK YOU.

Last night everything kinda came on top of me. T.T My friend called up just for a chat, she'd had an argument with two girls at school - one who was her best friend and one of my friends (who I don't hang round with, but chat to and stuff). -_- That made me kinda sad today.... I got a little snappy and upset and apologized to her for that, even though most of it was indirect. She said it was ok, so that made me feel better. ^^ But all the same, she had definately had a fall out with her best friend.

(background info, using names cos its easier I guess) The friend who called me is called Fay. She broke up with Lauren and was arguing with Megan. I don't fully understand the story of why so I won't say, cos it'll just confuse you (and me ^^;). Anyways, I used to hang aroung with Lauren and Fay alot, along with my best friend Kattie. But about 6 months or more ago, I started hanging round with sister's friends, not to get at my sister but for different reasons. ^^ Anyways, I really enjoyed myself but that meant I wasn't hanging round with Kattie and co. that much. Kattie (from Hong Kong) started hanging out with some Chinese girls in the school, and Fay waas invited to hang out with another group and also hangs with some girls in our form. Lauren and Fay had been hanging out alot until very recently, when cracks started forming between them. All that ended Fay and Lauren yesterday. But the point is, we no longer are or can hang out all together, cos now Fay (maybe Kattie too) don't/doesn't like Lauren, and what can I say? Lauren can be extremely sweet sometimes, but what the hell can I do if one (if not two) members of my group hate one? And Lauren's bound to hang out with Megan now. Kattie's first language is Cantonese, so she prefers to speak that (but she's said herself most of the Chinese keep bitching about each other). Fay's hanging with others in our form, so... You get the idea. But last night when Fay said it, it just entirely hot home for me. I'd always known deep down that it couldn't go back to how it was before, but I'd always put the idea away and not listened. I've tried (and so have the others) to get us all back and hanging together, but it just wasn't enough. I can't help but feel guilty for all this, because I started it. Then Kattie and Fay followed. And now its Lauren's turn. And to hear Fay actually say 'Well, Rosie, we're all breaking up now' really hurt. It wasn't her fault, and she didn't mean to upset me and probably didn't know what it meant to me. Poor thing. But I just looked at a picture of us all together (and a Columbian girl, who's temporarily here, Catalina) and I cried. I think I did. I can't really remember much about what I was thinking or really doing. Apart from I had a shower, chatted with Fay and went to bed. And was upset about it all.

One thing that also gets me is how fast it went. We came together properly in March 2006 (there was also a Hong Kong girl called Iris, but she doesn't hang with us anymore). I remember because two months after it was Fay's birthday. I really miss hanging with them, but I still wanna hang with Erulisse, Sheikan-fire, Mushroom-cookie and Shiny-crystal. I love hanging with you guys, I honestly do. But now I don't knwo where I belong. So I'm really sorry for this depressing journal, but I just hate it. I hate it that I neglected them for so long. And now look at it. What comes around goes around. And please don't say it's not my fault, because I'm sure it is. I shouldn't have hung with you gys, even though you were so so kind to me. I don't necessarily regret hanging with you guys at all, thats not it. But I was stupid and shold've spent more time with Kattie and co. I'm really sorry that you're sorta tied up in it too and have to put up with my moaning.

Anyways, about this poem. I wrote this last night, and boy is it long... ^^; I didn't mean for that, but it just turned out that way. I'm addressing my friends, Fay, Lauren and Kattie, though it's really seeming like I'm only addressing one person. I suppose I'd say to them individually. They don't go on LiveJournal or DeviantART (as far as I know) so they can't read this. I don't know whether I wanted them to read it or not anyway. I don't know what to think or say anymore. And when I say anything on this subject, I usually say sorry.

I know the beat, syllables, whatever is completely off, but hey, I can write when I'm depressed but not well. I also know the ending and beginning are abrupt, and if I'm gonna post it on DeviantART I think maybe I'll edit it. It was more to get it off my chest than anything else.

ANONYMOUS GUILT

I know what’s in your heart,
And you know what’s in my head,
There’s nothing we can do,
Just split up instead,
So I guess it’s goodbye,
As we got our separate ways,
Y’know it’s kinda hard to say,
Fare well to those wonderful days,
But I know that I’ll always,
Cherish them, hold them dear,
Wishing that once again,
Those times were near,
But now they’re memories,
All in the past,
And I can’t believe,
That’s it’s gone this fast,
I knew in my heart
That I couldn’t retrieve it,
But in my head I downright,
Refused to believe it,
Look where we are,
All separate now,
Barely a year,
It’s got me asking how?
Why? What did I do wrong?
But the answer to my question,
Is right in this song,
I admit I confess,
I was a stupid fool,
I never rejected, just neglected,
Like a broken tool,
They did me a favour,
And then I grew attached,
I dunno what to think,
Onto them I latched,
And I can’t believe,
I did it for this long,
Oh God, please help
Me to be strong,
I miss those special hours,
I wanna go to that place,
I hold in my heart,
The one I can’t face,
Without choking, crying,
Breaking down in tears,
Wishing and hoping,
That my saddened death ears,
Could one day hear again,
The laughter that we shared,
Oh how I wish now,
That I’d realized you cared,
Of course you did,
I always knew that, But now I feel worse
Than a diseased crushed rat,
I’m so small,
And the world is so big,
I’m honestly surprised,
That no one’s having a dig,
At the ‘good’ friend,
Who’s ‘always around’,
The one that could comfort you,
Pick you up off the ground,
Yes, she’s here,
Lying on the floor,
She’s finally realized,
That she ain’t happy no more,
But then again,
She never really knew,
Just exactly what she wanted,
Or what she should do.

To all my school friends, I'm sorry I was off today but I felt a bit ill in the morning and extremely tired, and couldn't face a day of work, late homework, and general stress coming from any direction. -_- It's nothing to do with you okies? I just got upset and needed a day at home immediately so that I could just relax. T.T Sorry again.


'*~xRosiex~*'

Oxo

Well, I'll start from the beginning, if there is one..... o.O

Urr, well, lately, I've felt.....depressed? But not known why... concerned perhaps for friends? Stress from school and homework? The after effect of feeling so happy and high? Who knows...

So, why should I be confuzzled? depression, for whatever reason, is as it is. But there's one tiny problem....

...I myself have no actual solid reason to be depressed in any way. oxO Its kinda a weird web of things that don't necessarily relate or link, but all come together to form it.....

So, the other thing that is confuzzling my tiny mind is that I think I am ill, but not terribly so. I felt all sniffly and slightly cold like, y'know runny nose, yesterday, but by the evening it had cleared up. (I skipped piano because of it, and my mum went wacko. When I said 'So don't you care that I was ill?' 'No.' Fine. ¬¬ another reason to be annoyed, I suppose. But today she was like 'awww, tell me if you wanna have some medicine or want to stay off school.' ok...) So anyways, thats all very well. But today I felt sick in my stomach, That could've been because I was particularly worried about my friend, but it was continuous, and I still felt funny near the end of school when I had worried enough and recieved almost satisfactory information that they weren't going to be hurt physically, but perhaps metally. Though they didn't say what was bothering them. I'm fine with that though. ^^ If they don't want to tell me or have sworn to secrecy, its fine.

But....that leads me to another point.

One friend in particular, Emma, was very depressed a couple of weeks ago. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong unless I continuously questioned her, and even then it was vague and not the full story. I fully accept that they may not want to talk about it, or may think I wouldn't understand, even though I can 100% guarantee I would. She woke me up to the fact that people may not want to speak me about whats really on their minds. So they hide it from me. They don't tell me whats wrong, whether for my protection or for their own reasons. But, as much as I understand, I still feel sometimes hurt. I can endure all kinds of things, including this, so please don't worry. I know its difficult for them and maybe selfish of me, but sometimes I can't help but feel that people wear masks and hide their unhappiness from me. And when I find out they're upset, but I don't know why, I get worried and try to help them my conforting them and telling them that I'm here and that it'll be ok. But I can't do anything. They could be sitting alone, reeling in pain, and I would be insensitively unaware. That hurts. That they won't talk to me. And since I cannot make any real impact on their troubles, I hurt even more because I feel like a crap friend. And I'm in no way saying 'don't hide from me, you must tell me everything!', because that would be selfish. And please don't think 'Oh know, I haven't said such-and-such, and if I tell her now she'll freak that I haven't told her', because I won't. Worst case scenario I'll be worried for you but in no way will be mad at you.

I'm sorry, but I had to get that off my chest. I beg you not to take offence, and I don't mean any harm. I just needed somewhere to ramble it all off at once, and it turned out here. I'm sorry if I caused you pain or completely bored you. XD;


Ok....byebye. ^^ I feel much better now. Thank you so much!! X3


Rosie xxx

From Gothucbunni1!! ^^

1.Your Middle Name:
2. Age:
3. Single or Taken:
4. Favorite Movie:
5. Favorite Song:
6. Favorite Band/Artist:
7. Dirty or Clean:
8. Tattoos and/or Piercings:


HERE COMES THE FUN ... ... ...

1. Do we know each other outside of LJ?
2. Whats your philosophy on life?
3. Would you have my back in a fight?
4. Would you keep a secret from me if you thought it was in my best interest?
5. What is your favorite memory of us?
6. Would you give me a kidney?
7. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:
8. Would you take care of me when I'm sick?
9. Can we get together and make a cake?
10. Have you heard any rumors of me lately?
11. Do you/have you talk(ed) crap about me?
12. Do you think I'm a good person?
13. Would you drive across country with me?
14. Do you think I'm attractive?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. What do you wear to sleep?
17. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?
18. Would you go on a date with me if i asked you?
19. If I only had one day to live, what would we do together?
20. Will you repost this so i can fill it out for you?

Nya!! XD

WARNING: R&B content, spiritual.

NOTE: It's not

So, I got this 'new' (2003 o.O) CD by R.Kelly, and it has 2 of my fav songs on it!! The album's called 'R.Kelly - The R in R&B'. Shows what he thinks (or what others think) of him. ^^ I think so, but tis very... vain, lol.

So, I love this song. It's one of those songs that lifts you, y'know? It's called 'The World's Greatest'. But sometimes I change the 'I' to 'you', because it's such a wonderful song it should apply to others too. When I hear it, I just want to sing the lyrics to everyone, as 'I' and 'you'. I suppose that means 'we'. ^^

So when you read it, (if you want to and don't throw up at the slightest mention of R&B *pokes SOME PEOPLE lol*) think we or I, whichever floats your boat.

Search it out! It's a wonderful song. If you're into R&B etc, give me your email and I'll send it to you. I don't think I can include audio files on this, and I wouldn't know how anyway, so... ^^;

Anyway, enough typing, more singing.




The World's Greatest Lyrics


Who´s the worlds greatest....
Who´s the worlds greatest..
The worlds greatest...)

I am a mountain
I am a tall tree ohh..
I am a swift wind sweeping the country
I am a river down in the valley ohh..
I am a vision and I can see clearly

If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and say


I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that mountain peak up high
Hey I made it
Mmm..
I'm the world's greatest
And I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it
Mmm..
I'm the world's greatest
the world greatest,
the world greatest,ever



I am a giant
I am an eagle ooh..
I am a lion
Down in the jungle
I am a marching band
I am the people ooh
I am a helping hand..
I am a hero
Ohh..

If anybody asks you who I am
Just stand up tall
Look 'em in the face and say

I'm that star up in the sky
I'm that moutain peak up high
Hey, I made it
Mmmm...
I'm the world´s greatest
I'm that little bit of hope
When my backs against the ropes
I can feel it
Mmmm...
I'm the world´s greatest


In the ring of life, I'll reign

love (I will reign)
And the world will notice a king (Oh Yeah..)
When all is darkest, I'll shine a light (Shine a light..)
And mirrors of succes reflect in me
I'm that star up in the sky (uh, uh)
I'm that mountain (peak up high) peak up high
Hey I made It (hey I made it)
I'm the worlds greatest (I'm that little bit)
I'm that little bit of hope (uh, uh)
When my back's against the ropes (when my back's against the ropes)
I can feel it (I can feel it)
I'm the world's greatest

oooohhhhhhhhhhh
I'm that star up in the sky (star up in the sky)
I'm that mountain peak up high (oh yes I am)
Hey I made It (I made it)
I'm the worlds greatest (I'm that little bit of hope)
I'm that little bit of hope (ohhhhhhohhhh)
When my back's against the ropes ohhhhhh (when my back's against the ropes)
I can feel it ( I can feel it)
I'm the world's greatest

choir:in the ring of life I'll reign love
and the world will notice the king
when all is darkest,I'll shine a light and mirrors of success reflect in me
I saw the light
At the end of a tunnel
Believe in the pot of gold
At the end of the rainbow
And faith was right there
To pull me through, yeah
Used to be locked doors
Now I can just walk on through

It's the greatest
Can you feel it
It's the greatest
Can you feel it

I saw the light
At the end of a tunnel
Believe in the pot of gold
At the end of the rainbow
And faith was right there
To pull me through, yeah
Used to be locked doors
Now I can just walk on through
Hey, uh, hey, hey, hey, yeah
It's the greatest
I'm that star up in the sky


~*~*~*~

I'm sorry this journal's late Steve. ^^;

I dedicate this journal to Steve Irwin, the 'crazy guy who likes snakes', as was my first views of my all time favourite nature guy.

*curtsies at grave stone* On my world tour, if I have one and if possible, I promise to place flowers on the tomb of my fav nature guy ever. *scribbles solemnly on world tour list*

Someone who wants to, give me a hug please.

I remember watching him on TV when I was little and really into reptiles, and seeing his show about the ten most deadliest snakes. I've watched it twice in my life, and I remember the bit when he got poison spat in his mouth by a cobra. He was still talking to the camera and (of course) managed to rinse out his mouth and survive. From the moment he got poison in his mouth to near the end of the program I was either saying or thinking 'silly idiot'. I was quite young but now I admire his bravery, I was very relieved he survived that. But that stingray encounter....

I also remember (when I was still into reptiles alot) the release of the Crocodile hunter series. It was the first TV program other than anime that I tried to watch every episode. I remember being so happy at watching it. Even my mum would excuse me from my homework XD we'd all watch it and comment on it afterwards. I miss those days...

Does anyone else remember those shows?

Rest In Peace, Steve Irwin. I'll always cherish the fond memories you gave me, and be grateful for them. I shall never forget you. *bows head*

Always will miss you, mate.


From a lil crazy angel called Rosie,
and a for-once solemn Yuffie. xx

A hug for Steve and a hug for his family.

Hi!!
'Name's Misha, pleased to meetcha and greetcha!'

This is just to say hi, and to work out this journal...thing. ^^

I am going to change my icon to one a friend on here made, if she doesn't mind and if it hasn't been used. ^^ (Its the pink Yuffie one, 'omg is it a...?')

BTW, Nowheresville is Norfolk. I am usually down in London, not cenral, y'know, suberbs... I think. XD My geography isn't that great.

Oh, and sorry if I'm a bit quiet. I may not answer comments because I don't know how, or I don't have enough time. I'm doing GCSEs at the moment, so that equals a lot of homework. -_- But I shall not give up!! *determined face*

Friends from DeviantArt and school, ADD MEH!!!

And anyone else, you can add me too. ^^

Ok, I'm gonna go now!!

Byebyexxx

~*'*~xMishax~*'*~